Three Friends in Crisis

As a woman about to turn 40, I am at a midpoint in my life. I find myself thinking about my youthful dreams and the paths I took.  I find I am surprised at how difficult things are for me right now.  I often wonder about other mothers and how they revel in their motherhood.  I adore my children but I feel quite alone and somewhat depressed by the day-to-day minutia.  It certainly doesn’t help living in a foreign country away from all my friends and family.  But it is more than that.  I hate to say this but I feel like I’m wasting time when I know these are priceless moments that I get to spend with my young children.  I think a lot of women from my generation who have been career driven, achieved multiple university degrees, and lived an independent life before children came along must feel the same way.  Especially as a stay-at-home-mom.  It is a very hard transition to make and sometimes I feel that I am just not a good enough mum to my children since I seek activities to free me up from the kids.  So I guess you could say that I am in somewhat of a mid-life crisis.

It turns out that two of my closest friends are also in crisis but for completely different reasons.  My best friend D is a divorced mother of one who is active on the dating scene but has an ex-husband from hell.  She has had so much trouble finding a stable relationship.  The ex drags her into court constantly even though they have been divorced almost ten years! He purposely tries to make her life miserable and I think he is mentally unbalanced.  My other friend K is a successful woman in finance and recently left her senior position so that she could focus on having children with her husband of 3 years.   However, she is having extreme difficulty and has been trying IVF unsuccessfully.  She is 40 years old like D and me.   It’s tearing her apart and she is miserable thinking about the years she spent on career when perhaps she could have had babies.  And now, with the IVF not successful, she feels completely useless with no career anymore.

I was joking with D that the three of us are like a Danielle Steele book:  the married, stay-at-home mom  of 3 overwhelmed with domesticity and feeling isolated abroad, the divorced, mom of one with the relationship issues and an ex that causes her hell, and successful businesswoman who desperately wants a child, has left her job, and is miserable with the possibility of being childless and now without a career.  And we’re even a blonde, brunette, and redhead!  I have the perfect title, Lost Dreams.  Three friends who lost their way. Hmmm, maybe I should write a novel — lol!

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Published in: on March 18, 2010 at 8:55 am  Comments (1)  
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One CommentLeave a comment

  1. I just turned 40 as well and I could have written the opening as well..There is so much guilt as well when you think that life has ‘passed you by’.. uuggh!


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